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100 A Polish man moved to the USA and married an
101 Top Ten Plays Shakespeare Chose Not To Publish
102 Once there were three brothers and all swallowed one BB
103 This guy goes into a tattoo shop and requests to
104 Doing a job right the first time gets the job
105 One day a mother and father decided that they would
106 Dodie Fayed gets up to heaven and runs into the
107 A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom
108 A guy comes home to his wife one evening with
109 A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets
110 A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row
111 An Irishman went into a bar and ordered three Guinesses.
112 It's really hard being a dick. You got a head,
113 Top Ten Things NOT To Say If You're Pulled Over:
114 The Top Ten Shortest Books
115 In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room
116 Father: 'There are 54 bars in this town and I'm
117 One day a Scottsman is driving by a farm. He
118 One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
119 The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range
120 A woman collared her husband as he stumbled through the
121 One day, back in the olden days, a cowboy was
122 A newly married couple retire to their hotel room on
123 A man walks into a bar and orders a double
124 There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into
125 Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty in Golf But Aren't:
126 Doing a job right the first time gets the job
127 A girl sat sobbing in the police station. "I was
128 Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent
129 An Irishman staggers into a library, approaches the librarian and
130 A guy comes home to his wife one evening with
131 Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
132 A 60 year old woman came home one day and
133 An older Irish man asked his wife to get him
134 A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange
135 What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?
136 There was this lady siting in a park by a
137 These 3 guys were camping out, and didn't have any
138 A medical student is doing is rotation on the psychiatric
139 One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband
140 An older Irish man asked his wife to get him
141 John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
142 A newly married couple retire to their hotel room on
143 Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One
144 This couple had been dating for about six months, but
145 A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote
146 One day a Scottsman is driving by a farm. He
147 A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at
148 Top Ten Shakespearean Insults
149 There was a guy who was struggling to decide what
150 Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
151 So, these two virgins get married. As their first night
152 A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and
153 A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops
154 A 60 year old woman came home one day and
155 Once there was a fly who looked down and saw
156 The Top Ten Reasons to Buy a New Car
157 'Doctor, I keep dreaming of bats, creepy-crawlies, demons, ghosts, monsters,
158 Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But
159 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Tattoo
160 20 Sayings We'd Like to See on Those Office Inspirational
161 30 Ways to Have Fun While Shopping
162 35 Fun Things to Do While Drinking
163 40 More T-Shirt Slogans / Quotes
164 Actual Notes from Doctors' Patient Charts
165 A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in
166 This couple was killed the night before their wedding. They
167 A friend was in front of me coming out of
168 A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment
169 The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal
170 The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote
171 Three nuns were remodeling a church and they were all
172 A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of
173 A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
174 About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that
175 A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked
176 This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60
177 A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker
178 A country preacher arrived at church one snowy January morning
179 After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization,
180 Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on Earth.
181 Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs
182 Poor little Herbie. Since his birth, poor blind Herbie had
183 A new priest at his first mass was so nervous
184 "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed
185 There was a Rabbi whose wife was expecting a baby.
186 A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend,
187 Several years ago a mother gave her son 2 quarters.
188 A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils
189 Jesus decided to go say hi to his old buddy
190 Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who
191 A woman died and found herself standing outside the Pearly
192 A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table,
193 One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing
194 One day a group of scientists got together and decided
195 A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The
196 Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates,
197 A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher
198 One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small
199 Three married guys die and meet Saint Peter at the
200 Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep
201 Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog
202 Several Nuns were in there second floor convent one night
203 A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to
204 A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young
205 After the church service, a little boy told the pastor,
206 A mother was watching her four year-old son playing outside
207 A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's
208 The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received
209 The Pope and the Queen of England are sitting next
210 A Sunday School teacher read a passage from the Old
211 One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with
212 An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded
213 A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man
214 Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the
215 A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of
216 Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
217 The Pope arrives in NYC for an important UN meeting.
218 A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could
219 A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His
220 A priest, rabbi and televangelist were playing their usual Wednesday
221 The young couple invited their parson for Sunday dinner. While
222 A new IRS auditor, eager to make a name for
223 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his
224 A guy is at the Pearly Gates hoping to be
225 The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are
226 A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus'
227 One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer
228 A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked
229 A very, very drunk man flops onto a bus seat
230 A burglar had been casing a particular house for some
231 A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He
232 After years of pleading, the rich oil matron finally talked
233 Two Jewish men, walking by a Catholic church, noticed a
234 A faithful couple got the bad news from their doctor.
235 A guy is sinking in his boat and the water
236 A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great
237 Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had
238 Three nuns on a train had been getting to know
239 A nun was stopped beside the highway, trying to change
240 A young Irish lass left home to take a job
241 As a church service was letting out on Sunday morning,
242 Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico
243 Three men of God were discussing the philosophical question, "When
244 A man with a huge, Sunday morning hangover was walking
245 A father is in church with three of his young
246 A little boy sat on a curb with a bottle
247 Little Johnny was softly saying his night prayers kneeling down,
248 A sales representative from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the
249 The postal worker who processed the illegibly addressed mail found
250 The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on
251 The child comes home from his first day at school.
252 The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental
253 The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer
254 So you think you know American History . . .
255 A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her
256 Finding one of her students making faces at others on
257 Two football players were taking an important final exam. If
258 A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for
259 One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in
260 In school one day, the teacher decided that in science
261 A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about
262 The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out
263 A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned
264 On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the
265 "If there are any idiots in the room, will they
266 It was the usual muddy day in the country. Our
267 The composition teacher asked the class to write about an
268 A professor was giving a big test one day to
269 A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story
270 When I was teaching at a local university, the eight
271 The tourist had lost his way on a back road
272 Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him
273 A medical student was in the morgue one day after
274 Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were
275 A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents
276 Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first
277 Miss Jones had just given her second-grade students a science
278 The fifth grade children had all been photographed and the
279 A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked
280 There was this old couple who was having trouble remembering
281 One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
282 It was the final examination for an introductory English course
283 A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement
284 A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some
285 A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic
286 A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of
287 One morning a mother was trying to wake up her
288 Little Lucy loved sucking her thumb so much. She was
289 "What's the usual tip?" a man growled when, Jason, a
290 The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance
291 Children in the cafeteria line at a Catholic school saw
292 Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets
293 A wise schoolteacher sent this note to all parents on
294 It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came
295 A young couple, Myrddin and Jill, are out for a
296 Two guys are in a locker room when one guy
297 A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
298 Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they
299 A New Yorker decides to have a party and invites
300 A guy works at a new job on Thursday and
301 It was George the Mailman's last day on the job
302 A couple of homosexual men are accidentally rear-ended by a
303 A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to
304 Little Johnny one weekend afternoon, upon coming home early from
305 A worried father telephoned his family doctor and said that
306 A young man goes to his doctor with a personal
307 One day a five year old little girl excitedly approached
308 There once was a horse and a chicken that were
309 An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her
310 John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
311 A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaecologist. The
312 Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
313 In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews
314 A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he
315 The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and
316 A teacher is reviewing her class homework assignments. She asks
317 Miss Bee was in her 80s, and much admired for
318 A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they
319 It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, the
320 A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble.
321 In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room
322 Suzy, age 9, and Little Johnny, age 10, are sitting
323 Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz
324 A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing
325 Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They came
326 Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so
327 A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three
328 The World's Greatest Cowboy was captured by some Indians, who
329 Two deaf people get married. During the first week of
330 Niko walks into a bar and orders eight tequila slammers.
331 Pam, a beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her
332 A young guy was laying on his back on a
333 A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when
334 A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when
335 Joey takes his girlfriend Gena home from a date. At
336 Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't
337 A redhead, a brunette, and a sleazy blonde are riding
338 A banana and a vibrator are lying on a bed
339 One day when a teacher walked into her classroom she
340 Man and a woman had been dating for about a
341 A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to
342 Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate
343 At the International Gynecology Association's conference, a French doctor was
344 A vet received a phone call very late one Saturday
345 A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the
346 Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are en route
347 An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into
348 The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on
349 A man enters his favorite restaurant and, while sitting at
350 A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit
351 Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked
352 A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a
353 A young boy who had been staring out the airplane's
354 Tired of their listless sex life, the husband finally came
355 A guy gets home really late one evening.
356 A waitress in a New York City restaurant noticed that
357 One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a
358 Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining
359 One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair
360 Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a
361 A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices
362 A rich man was having a house built on a
363 Two guys were in a bar whining about the failed
364 Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
365 A WW II American soldier had been on the front
366 McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini,
367 An Indian named Brown Elk walked into the saloon. He
368 A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby. The
369 A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in
370 An Asian man walked into a currency exchange in NYC
371 A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry.
372 Three Hillbillies are sitting on their porch in Arkansas.
373 One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York
374 Dear Son,
375 An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired
376 A film crew was on location deep in the desert.
377 While spending a quiet day relaxing and staring out the
378 This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and
379 Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods,
380 There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian
381 An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time
382 A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in
383 Little Johnny's mother was Jewish and his father was black.
384 Pierre the french fighter pilot is on a picnic with
385 A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama
386 Two dwarfs treated themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas.
387 John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters
388 This little Italian boy and this little Jewish boy lived
389 A famous news reporter had done a story on gender
390 A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There
391 Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing
392 An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip,
393 "Chief Two Eagles," said the CNN reporter to the old
394 A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American survived a ship
395 A dietrician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
396 Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic
397 Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and
398 A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel
399 A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon
400 During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best
401 Sunday morning services were going very smoothly when suddenly a
402 A naive couple got married and celebrated their first night
403 On their wedding night, the young bride went up to
404 John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate
405 On the night of their wedding, a young couple finally
406 A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to
407 A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
408 A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She
409 A man and a woman who had never met before
410 A young couple decided to wed. As the big day
411 Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through
412 Mr. & Mrs. Smith have been back from their honeymoon
413 A sixty year old man went to a doctor for
414 Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
415 Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming
416 Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy
417 A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the
418 While enjoying an Early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona
419 "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a
420 During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with
421 There was once a villager who got engaged to a
422 One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation
423 A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night
424 Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week
425 A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington.
426 "How does Janice like being pregnant?" Bob asked his friend
427 Grandpa Cartnell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented
428 "Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll
429 As he walked through the front door, the husband said
430 A husband and wife were at a party chatting with
431 The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive,
432 A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new
433 With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year
434 There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he
435 The newlyweds were undressing in their honeymoon suite on their
436 "Please, doctor! Come over right away!" pleaded the distraught young
437 As the lovely bride came down the aisle, she noticed
438 A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist
439 Soon after their wedding, the bride told her groom, "Darling,
440 Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation
441 At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of
442 The first morning after the honeymoon, the husband got up
443 Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were
444 A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55
445 "Oh dear," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my
446 A man was reading the paper when an ad caught
447 A man asked his wife, "What would you most like
448 A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a
449 A man walked out into the street in New York,
450 There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of
451 A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
452 A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to
453 A retired gentleman went into the social security office to
454 Worried that his son was spending too much money on
455 A man out shopping discovers a new brand of Olympic
456 In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a
457 There are several men sitting around in the locker room
458 After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I
459 It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two
460 This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning,
461 "Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items
462 A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up
463 The room was full of pregnant women and their partners,
464 A college student picked up his date at her parents
465 A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and
466 Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty
467 "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her
468 A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband
469 Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight when Grandpa
470 A guy was invited to some old friends' home for
471 Soon after our last child left home for college, my
472 A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was
473 Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks
474 One day, after a man had his annual physical, the
475 My wife seems to be losing her sense of humour
476 A sailor has sex with a Hong Kong hooker and
477 A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak
478 A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra
479 A man and a woman were involved in a terrible
480 After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand
481 While walking down the street, a bum asks a man
482 After marrying a young gal, a 90-year-old geezer told his
483 A man was watering his lawn one day when he
484 There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful
485 A mild-mannered woman answered the knock at the door and
486 A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a
487 The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of
488 Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,
489 Jones came into the office an hour late for the
490 A married man left for work early one Friday afternoon.
491 A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After
492 A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a
493 "So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to
494 A guy met a girl at a nightclub and she
495 Husband: You always carry my photo in your handbag to
496 An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the
497 A man came home from an exhausting day at work,
498 A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work
499 A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in
500 "You know," a guy told his buddies, "I'm a lucky
501 A radical feminist was getting on a bus when, just
502 "It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack
503 A male chauvinist told his buddy, "I called the local
504 A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her
505 This old couple was sitting in their rocking chairs on
506 A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in
507 A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see
508 A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that
509 A boy and his date were parked on a back
510 A funeral service is being held in a church for
511 A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The
512 A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic
513 Dave went on a business trip for a few days.
514 It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when
515 A couple just started their lamaze class and they were
516 A man goes to see the Rabbi.
517 Two women were talking over coffee. The first one said,
518 Frank came into his wife's room one day. "If I
519 HER SIDE OF THE STORY
520 Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with
521 Little Johnny watched Daddy's car drive by the playground and
522 She married young and had 13 children before her husband
523 A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone,
524 A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice
525 A man had been feeling horrible about his marriage for
526 A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked
527 A man and his wife are watching a championship boxing
528 Morris was in a terrible accident and his "manhood" was
529 A guy went on a business trip to Texas and
530 Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation
531 Two recently divorced prospectors swore off women forever. They decided
532 Find a woman who likes to cook and clean,a woman
533 An excited woman called home to her father one evening,
534 A recently married deaf couple was discussing how to signal
535 A man, returning home one day early from his business
536 A woman walked into the welfare office, trailed by fifteen
537 A young man was so well endowed that it was
538 Two guys were discussing last night's dates.
539 A man came home dead tired from working a long
540 Sidney was not having a good day on the golf
541 A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at
542 A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for
543 A married couple is driving when they spot a wounded
544 A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that
545 One Monday morning, a mailman on his route notices Bob
546 After being away on business, Tim thought it would be
547 Two friends were talking during lunch and eventually settled on
548 The husband got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning
549 One day a young man went to a pharmacy and
550 Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself
551 A man walks into a restaurant with his wife. The
552 Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep
553 Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up. When it
554 A world leader met with Clinton in the Oval Office.
555 The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
556 A surgeon went to check on his very famous patient
557 As the President is getting off the helicopter in front
558 One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called
559 Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has
560 A State Government Employee sits in his office and out
561 George W. Bush was thrilled at finally being able to
562 A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is
563 Two workmen were approached by a passer by who asked
564 A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax
565 The LAPD, CIA, and FBI were all trying to prove
566 The local restaurant was so sure that its host was
567 During a neighborhood party here, I got into an argument
568 A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said,
569 The U.S. Government today changed its emblem from an eagle
570 Three boys were heading home from school one day when
571 A busload of politicians were driving down a country road
572 Little Johnny was doing his Social Studies homework.
573 Dear Friends:
574 Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap
575 Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING
576 Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was
577 Morris calls his son in New York. and says, "Benny,
578 A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
579 The trick-or-treater knocked on the front door dressed in boxing
580 A woman was really under the holiday gun—she felt like
581 A man bought his wife a new artificial leg for
582 At a posh Las Vegas casino, a blackjack dealer and
583 A strong young man at the construction site was bragging
584 An economy car pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at the traffic
585 During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents, young Michael
586 A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's
587 A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. She
588 An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been
589 I remember one time when I was home visiting my
590 A guy was known among his friends to be very
591 Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place
592 A moron tripped on the stairs and broke his leg.
593 Two city slickers were driving through the country when they
594 A man approached a local in a village he was
595 Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, without
596 Two guys in a car drive right through the red
597 After spending 3 and a half hours enduring the long
598 A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in
599 A blind man is walking down the street with his
600 Four friends were taking a cross country car trip together.
601 The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put
602 A small guy is drinking beer and all of a
603 A grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who
604 The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang
605 The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a
606 A cowboy rides into town and stops at the saloon,
607 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
608 A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely
609 At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers
610 A kid gets a job in a small department store.
611 In a city park stood two statues, one female and
612 A guy stops by to visit his friend who is
613 A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a
614 A baby boy was just born. He had all his
615 John and Cathy were driving through Arkansas on their way
616 A young boy, about eight years old, was at the
617 Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day
618 Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards
619 A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a
620 A lady is feeling a bit down in the dumps
621 Three sons left home, went out on their own and
622 A young girl asks her mother, "Mum, why is my
623 A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent
624 A sailor was using the urinal just as a Marine
625 A friend and I were standing in line at a
626 Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and
627 Three guys are about to be executed and they are
628 A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and
629 A little old lady seated herself right behind the bus
630 Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public
631 One day a Pirate and a bartender were talking to
632 One night a wife found her husband standing over their
633 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
634 About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia,
635 An old man turned 115 and was being interviewed by
636 I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was
637 A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and
638 "My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor," complained the patient.
639 A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the
640 There was a young man who was so well-endowed that
641 Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city
642 In the back woods of a rural town, Mrs. Stewart
643 Last summer, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't
644 A man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help...my wife has
645 A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge
646 It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist
647 A lady was picking up several items at a discount
648 A man went to get his driver's license renewed. The
649 It´s a summer holiday weekend and a man walks into
650 A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival
651 An elderly couple was watching television one evening.
652 Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his
653 A farmer was driving along the road with a load
654 A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack
655 There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was fairly
656 Three old ladies were sitting in a diner, chatting.
657 A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and
658 Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a
659 Two old gents were rocking quietly on the porch of
660 An old man was wondering if his wife had a
661 Two sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean, looking
662 My wife came home the other day and said, "Honey,
663 A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting
664 A man was driving down the freeway when his car
665 An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working
666 When the man came home, his wife was crying.
667 Two men were playing golf on a Saturday afternoon. They
668 Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted
669 Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older.
670 A young man was walking through a supermarket when he
671 A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key
672 A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park
673 "Shall I bring you your lunch on deck, sir?" asked
674 The other night I was invited out for a night
675 One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and
676 A man goes to the doctor with a long history
677 A Fire Fighter is working on the Engine outside the
678 Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary
679 The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding
680 A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age
681 A little girl and her mother were out and about.
682 A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up
683 One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of
684 With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year
685 A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
686 A man is sitting in the coach section of a
687 A man knocks on the door of an exclusive brothel.
688 Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their
689 Two young brothers are getting ready for bed. The eleven
690 Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of
691 A husband and wife decided they needed to use a
692 A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little
693 John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He
694 A man is at work one day when he notices
695 A man's off road vehicle breaks down in the middle
696 A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a
697 A man returning home a day early from a business
698 A motorist had a flat tire in front of an
699 This fellow who had spent his whole life in the
700 Nigel and Simon were feeling a bit limp, so to
701 Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little
702 An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number
703 A lady is having a bad day at the roulette
704 Bob was sitting on his porch, when a man walked
705 A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened
706 A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day.
707 A wealthy man and his wife were driving down the
708 Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences...
709 One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two
710 A woman with a baby came into the doctor's office.
711 An obese man had tried every diet, to no avail,
712 A little old man found himself seated in the same
713 Little Johnny thought he was pretty grown up now, so
714 Once upon a time, there was a little country boy
715 A couple was going out for the evening to celebrate
716 A group of senior citizens was chatting.
717 The elderly veteran shuffled slowly into the ice cream parlor
718 While proudly showing off his new apartment to his friends,
719 When three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he
720 I was nervous the night my husband and I brought
721 The new manager walks into his office and, while settling
722 There was this world famous painter. In the prime of
723 A man takes his place in the theater, but his
724 Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers)
725 One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with
726 As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter
727 It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted
728 A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over
729 A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much
730 Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for
731 It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of
732 Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a
733 Two guys were doing construction on a house. One of
734 Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped
735 A travel agent looked up from his desk to see
736 Ted just finished his training session at the local McDonald's.
737 While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr.
738 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait
739 A young naval student was being put through the paces
740 While the U.S. stock market was at an all time
741 One day a farm implement salesman visited a new potential
742 Rand was in the hospital for a complete check-up. At
743 Two young engineers applied for a single position at a
744 A young woman was having a physical examination and was
745 The farmer's son was returning from the market with the
746 The manager of a large office noticed a new man
747 A guy goes into the Post Office to interview for
748 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
749 The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been
750 A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in
751 Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources
752 A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant;
753 Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than
754 Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over
755 A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it
756 Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on
757 "I'm new around here," said a man to a little
758 Mr. Swiller was known far and wide as a hard-nosed
759 A soldier went up to the Company Cook and said,
760 A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to
761 I had just moved into a new apartment and was
762 A man picks the lock of a door and enters
763 A tourist is visiting New York City when his car
764 A young executive was leaving the office at 6 pm
765 An extremely drunk man looking for a house of ill
766 A man joined a big company as a trainee. On
767 Mr. Smith hired himself a new secretary. She was young,
768 One day while walking down the street a highly successful
769 A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner
770 The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had
771 Seems there was a young soldier who, just before battle,
772 A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist
773 A man is asked by his friend, "Has your son
774 Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project -- an action
775 A man observed a sign in the window of a
776 One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6
777 An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit
778 Two men held up a bank. They cleaned out the
779 A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife
780 When the office printer´s type began to grow faint, the
781 The other day I had the opportunity to drop by
782 A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided
783 A guy walks into a gas station and buys a
784 Jones had for years refused to take planes, and all
785 When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,
786 A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to
787 Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Arkansas,
788 A guy had told all of his friends about the
789 A guy was being sold a very cheap suit. "But
790 A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm
791 The man looked a little worried when the doctor came
792 A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and
793 A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits
794 Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how
795 This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of
796 A customer sent an order to a distributor for a
797 A man was lying on his death-bed in a hospital
798 The boss ordered one of his men to dig a
799 A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist
800 A man on a bike, carrying two sacks on his
801 A man wasn't feeling well so he went to his
802 A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway, but as
803 Dennis had a problem with getting up late in the
804 The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered
805 It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron
806 "Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
807 A doctor at an asylum decided to take his inmates
808 A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital
809 A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for
810 "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you
811 As an inspirational measure, the Boss had placed an inspirational
812 A rookie police officer was out for his first ride
813 Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the
814 Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he
815 A blind man walked into a large department store with
816 In the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts
817 A young family moved into a house in a new
818 The knight and his loyal warriors returned to their castle
819 A policeman stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Jumping
820 A new bus driver stopped at a bus stop, opened
821 The woman seated herself in the psychiatrist's office.
822 A guy was at a restaurant and couldn't figure out
823 Colby and Terri were out to dinner, and Colby was
824 The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice
825 A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated
826 One night, as Joe was watching TV, the doorbell rang.
827 One day a mechanic was working late under a car
828 A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks
829 On some air bases the Air Force is on one
830 A guy had been feeling down for so long that
831 Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library
832 Three boys were bragging about their fathers...
833 An eminent psychologist was called to testify in court. A
834 The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot
835 In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train
836 A local charity office realized that it had never received
837 In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a
838 A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the
839 An investment counselor went out on her own. She was
840 A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you
841 An attorney was sitting in his office late one night,
842 A man walks into a friend and sees that his
843 A judge in his golden years decided that retirement had
844 A guy walks into a post office one day to
845 A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce,
846 In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the
847 A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over
848 After a two week criminal trial in a very high
849 A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
850 A man called his law firm and asked the receptionist
851 A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager
852 A man walked into a curio shop and began to
853 A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair
854 A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would
855 In a long line of people waiting for a bank
856 A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front
857 A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at
858 A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the
859 A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich
860 A man bumps into a friend and sees that his
861 A lawyer is driving in the middle of nowhere and
862 One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back
863 A man walked into a bar and he was really
864 NASA interviewed potential astronauts for a trip to Mars. Only
865 Dear Tech Support,
866 Your stationery has fax number, 2 e-mail addresses, & your
867 A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an
868 There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down
869 My son was playing the video game "Zelda" and was
870 A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops
871 If AOL built Automobiles...
872 If Microsoft built Automobiles...
873 My friend was on duty in the main computer lab
874 A computer scientist died and of course was immediately sent
875 A new employee joins the Company, and is required to
876 The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to
877 There was once a young man who, in his youth,
878 Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance
879 While out one morning in the park, a jogger found
880 After his Little League baseball game, Little Johnny rode his
881 A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found
882 The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the
883 A middle management executive has to take on some sport,
884 A Minnesotan dies and is sent to hell. He was
885 A woman called in a repairman to fix her television.
886 Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One
887 Three idiots are sitting by the side of a river
888 A young man was very excited when he won a
889 A football coach walked into the locker room before a
890 A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed
891 "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
892 A man was strolling along the Beaches area in East
893 A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one
894 This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father
895 Two friends John and Dave were two huge baseball fans.
896 Two men are playing golf one day. As they are
897 A man decided that he was going to ride a
898 Sally and Eric are in their hotel room on their
899 A guy was stranded on a desert island, all alone
900 Sid and Barney went out for a quick round of
901 Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and
902 It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and
903 Mary hears the car drive up, then a clatter as
904 A first grade teacher was a die-hard Colorado Avalanche fan.
905 The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba had
906 The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green
907 These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first
908 A man had been waiting for years to see his
909 A guy was playing golf at some fancy club, and
910 A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into
911 Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an
912 Two women were talking the other day over tea.
913 One day, a man finally decided that it was time
914 Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house,
915 Top 10 reasons halloween is better than sex
916 The Guy Rules
917 Top Ten Best Excuses for Sleeping on the Job
918 Actual Notes from Doctors' Patient Charts
919 20 Sayings We'd Like to See on Those Office Inspirational
920 40 More T-Shirt Slogans / Quotes
921 A guy walked into a bar and the bartender asked
922 Top Ten Signs You're in a Bad Boy Scout Troop
923 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Tattoo
924 Almost 50 Things You Wish You Could Say
925 Rules of Flight
926 You Know You've Had Too Much Holiday Cheer When...
927 An Irishman, an Italian, and a redneck were drinking in
928 Benefits of Growing Older
929 Ten Ways to Annoy the Person in the Next Toilet
930 New FDA Warnings for Alcoholic Beverages
931 Signs That You're an Internet Geek...
932 Top 17 Fatal Things to Say If Your Wife is
933 Ten Excellent Pick-Up Lines
934 Reasons to Allow Drinking at Work
935 If Men Ruled the World...
936 35 Fun Things to Do While Drinking
937 The Guy Rules - Part 2
938 1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order,
939 Responses to the General Public
940 30 Ways to Have Fun While Shopping
941 Top Ten Things NOT to Say During Thanksgiving Dinner
942 Police Quotes
943 Top 10 Signs That Your Son Has Grown Too Old
944 A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to
945 The blonde reported for her final examination which was made
946 There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette,
947 Question: What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
948 A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading
949 A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to
950 A blonde bombshell walks into the airplane and sits in
951 A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.
952 A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical
953 A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each
954 There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to
955 A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds
956 Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting
957 A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. "I hate
958 A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
959 11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope
960 A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
961 A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together
962 A blonde was driving back from the mall when there
963 A blonde got lost in her car in a snow
964 There was once a magic mirror in a ladies room
965 A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire
966 The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant
967 A Blonde bought a brand new car and decided to
968 A man was in his front yard mowing grass when
969 A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He
970 A blonde went into the grocery and asked for fifty
971 There was a blonde who was sick of all the
972 A blonde lived on a farm. He didn't get many
973 A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove
974 A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about a
975 A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was
976 A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a
977 A blonde, brunette, and a redhead escaped from prison. They
978 Several dozen brunette, redhead, and blonde guys were facing execution
979 A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted
980 Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto,
981 The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her
982 Judi goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
983 One night this blonde calls up her boy friend. "Honey,
984 Cousin Elly is the world´s worst at getting instructions mixed
985 A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after
986 A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the
987 A guy took a blonde out on a date. Eventually
988 The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a
989 A blonde returned home from work to find her house
990 A young man had taken his date to see a
991 It had been a tough day and Jim's girlfriend offered
992 As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona
993 A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering,
994 A beautiful redhead goes into a bar and sits down
995 A young blonde brought her new boyfriend home to meet
996 One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife
997 "Oh, Mom!" sobbed the hot young blonde, "I'm pregnant!"
998 The traffic light at the corner of Broadway and 72nd
999 The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting
1000 It was mealtime during a flight on a small airline
1001 A blonde, vacationing in the Everglades, wanted to take home
1002 One day an out of work mime is visiting the
1003 An avid duck hunter was in the market for a
1004 A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog,
1005 A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Out
1006 A timid little man ventured into a biker bar in
1007 A man goes into a pet shop and tells the
1008 A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a
1009 A police officer sees a man driving around with a
1010 Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when
1011 A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to
1012 A young man was driving along a country road on
1013 A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the
1014 There was a hound dog laying in the yard and
1015 There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy
1016 A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer
1017 Tom woke up one morning to find a gorilla in
1018 A man was driving down a country road in the
1019 Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty
1020 A man goes into a pet store and asks the
1021 A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in
1022 A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks
1023 A mother and baby camel are talking one day when
1024 A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk
1025 Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a
1026 An undertaker found a donkey lying dead in front of
1027 A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the
1028 It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the
1029 There were two men who played golf together frequently. One
1030 Some racehorses were staying in a stable. One of them
1031 A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for
1032 A wife and her husband were having a dinner party
1033 A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the
1034 A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog.
1035 Guy walks into a pet store looking for a gift
1036 A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily
1037 A woman having a passionate affair with a pest-control man
1038 A man buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many
1039 A bloke is driving around in the Australian bush and
1040 A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went
1041 Father," a lady says to her priest, "I have a
1042 One evening two vampire bats were hanging out in their
1043 A man takes his wife to the cattle show. They
1044 A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a
1045 A guy walked into a bar, had a few beers,
1046 The US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for
1047 A happily married man had only one complaint, his wife
1048 The ad in the local newspaper read: Purebred Police Dog
1049 It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke
1050 A man walks into a bar with an ostrich behind
1051 A doctor went to the mental hospital to visit his
1052 A man is sitting in a plane which is about
1053 Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He
1054 There are two friends at a bar late one night.
1055 Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork
1056 The city slicker's car sputtered to a halt near a
1057 Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.
1058 A woman called up a pet store and said, "Send
1059 Two privates stationed at Fort Campbell were handed shovels and
1060 A mother firefly was taking her children for a walk
1061 A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten
1062 Out in the pasture one lovely summer day, three bulls
1063 A poodle escaped from a safari and soon was lost,
1064 A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears
1065 An armless man walked into a bar which is empty
1066 A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the
1067 A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and
1068 The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the
1069 An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of
1070 A man is in bed with his wife when there
1071 Uncle Norm’s been doing a lot more drinking than usual
1072 A driver was pulled over by a police officer for
1073 Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who
1074 A drunk had been drinking at a pub all night.
1075 Two fairly simple-minded men were out fishing one day far
1076 A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class
1077 A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon
1078 A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending
1079 Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the
1080 Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the
1081 A taxi driver goes to a bar to pick up
1082 The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly
1083 At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets
1084 A man walks into a bar one night. He goes
1085 A grasshopper hops into a bar and jumps up on
1086 A drunk walks into a bar and says to the
1087 A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at
1088 After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the
1089 Four guys entered a bar and were surprised to see
1090 On his first date with a beautiful woman, Tim decided
1091 Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says
1092 One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly
1093 It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat
1094 A man walked into a shop and found the clerk
1095 Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of
1096 A state trooper pulled a car over and told the
1097 An Australian tourist was sitting at the bar in an
1098 The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving,
1099 A drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded
1100 A man walked into a bar and ordered six shots
1101 An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a